So, I fainted yesterday.
Yeah. On my face, straight-up passed out. Go me.
Oh, what happened? Well, I was out with my friend Caroline. We had gone out for a beer at Cafe Alex, where I also had a big ice cream and some bread (I was hungry after helping my roommate paint in town all day and I went for the unhealthiest thing I could find). Then we went to this nearby pub that we hadn't been to in a while, where we watched some football and ordered another beer. I got one or two sips into my beer when I felt really hot and sick. I went to the bathroom and --oops! hey, there's that ice cream I just ate. I figured, well, I guess I ate something wrong. It's either that or that beer at Cafe Alex was atomically strong, which I'm doubting. I thought I'd feel better after being sick, but I didn't. I still felt awful and hot and there was this ringing in my ears. My vision started getting fuzzy and narrowing. This has happened to me before, though. I'm prone to fainting, but it's usually when I get too hot or don't eat enough. So as I'm sitting there in the bathroom of Lindi's I'm thinking, "Okay, I'm just overheated. I'll go outside and then I'll feel better." But when I tried to stand up, my vision pretty much narrowed to pinpoints and I couldn't hear anything but a high-pitched ringing. I walked out of the bathroom and past Caroline on my way to the door. I think I said something to her like, "I need to go outside for a minute" but what probably came out was, "U'mu gnugh ...." Because then my whole body started shaking and I fell against some poor guy who turned out to be the owner of the freaking bar. That's right. I fell on the owner. His name is Gunter.
So, Gunter asks me if I need help and I mumble something about needing to get outside before I completely black out and fall on my face. During the fall I hurt my hand, gave myself a bit of a black eye, and bit off part of my tongue, in addition to other various bodily bruises. I woke up dizzy and sick outside with people questioning me in German. I'm trying to explain to them, "No, I'm not drunk, I'm just prone to fainting when I get really hot ... or when I don't eat much ... what did I eat today? Uhm ... Hey, wait, did someone call the ambulance? Why is the ambulance here?" Crap. Then I get put into the ambulance, where two guys rapid-fire questions at me in German while they take blood and get my blood pressure and pulse and all that jazz. I'm not ready for this line of questioning in German in general, and certainly not when I've just come to after passing out. So I'm trying to explain that I fainted, so I say "fainted" in English, put the back of my hand to my forehead, and roll my eyes back into my head while making a noise like I imagine a damsel in distress would make before swooning. Apparently this is "Ohnmacht" in German, and to faint is "ohnmaechtig werden". Awesome. So, they tell me that I'm fine - meaning sober, conscious, and without broken bones or major injury - then get my insurance info and drive away. Caroline takes me home, still feeling sick and shaky, a feeling which has lasted well into today.
I don't know if I'm getting really sick or what, but among my many fainting episodes this one has been unique in that I got sick right beforehand and I didn't feel better right after waking up. Maybe I've got some strange new German sickness. Who knows? Anyway, embarassing pics of my shiner and tongue to follow. Until then, I talk with a funny German lisp!
Yeah. On my face, straight-up passed out. Go me.
Oh, what happened? Well, I was out with my friend Caroline. We had gone out for a beer at Cafe Alex, where I also had a big ice cream and some bread (I was hungry after helping my roommate paint in town all day and I went for the unhealthiest thing I could find). Then we went to this nearby pub that we hadn't been to in a while, where we watched some football and ordered another beer. I got one or two sips into my beer when I felt really hot and sick. I went to the bathroom and --oops! hey, there's that ice cream I just ate. I figured, well, I guess I ate something wrong. It's either that or that beer at Cafe Alex was atomically strong, which I'm doubting. I thought I'd feel better after being sick, but I didn't. I still felt awful and hot and there was this ringing in my ears. My vision started getting fuzzy and narrowing. This has happened to me before, though. I'm prone to fainting, but it's usually when I get too hot or don't eat enough. So as I'm sitting there in the bathroom of Lindi's I'm thinking, "Okay, I'm just overheated. I'll go outside and then I'll feel better." But when I tried to stand up, my vision pretty much narrowed to pinpoints and I couldn't hear anything but a high-pitched ringing. I walked out of the bathroom and past Caroline on my way to the door. I think I said something to her like, "I need to go outside for a minute" but what probably came out was, "U'mu gnugh ...." Because then my whole body started shaking and I fell against some poor guy who turned out to be the owner of the freaking bar. That's right. I fell on the owner. His name is Gunter.
So, Gunter asks me if I need help and I mumble something about needing to get outside before I completely black out and fall on my face. During the fall I hurt my hand, gave myself a bit of a black eye, and bit off part of my tongue, in addition to other various bodily bruises. I woke up dizzy and sick outside with people questioning me in German. I'm trying to explain to them, "No, I'm not drunk, I'm just prone to fainting when I get really hot ... or when I don't eat much ... what did I eat today? Uhm ... Hey, wait, did someone call the ambulance? Why is the ambulance here?" Crap. Then I get put into the ambulance, where two guys rapid-fire questions at me in German while they take blood and get my blood pressure and pulse and all that jazz. I'm not ready for this line of questioning in German in general, and certainly not when I've just come to after passing out. So I'm trying to explain that I fainted, so I say "fainted" in English, put the back of my hand to my forehead, and roll my eyes back into my head while making a noise like I imagine a damsel in distress would make before swooning. Apparently this is "Ohnmacht" in German, and to faint is "ohnmaechtig werden". Awesome. So, they tell me that I'm fine - meaning sober, conscious, and without broken bones or major injury - then get my insurance info and drive away. Caroline takes me home, still feeling sick and shaky, a feeling which has lasted well into today.
I don't know if I'm getting really sick or what, but among my many fainting episodes this one has been unique in that I got sick right beforehand and I didn't feel better right after waking up. Maybe I've got some strange new German sickness. Who knows? Anyway, embarassing pics of my shiner and tongue to follow. Until then, I talk with a funny German lisp!
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2 comments:
Okay, you have panicked your mother!! R U okay?
Yeah, I'm okay. The swelling has gone down on my tongue, which I only bit a teensy little unimportant bit off of. Think of those diagrams that show you what parts of your tongue sense sweet tastes, sour, salty, and bitter. I just bit off a little bit of the "sour" section. I don't even like sour things, so it's okay with me. Oh, and my eye looks fine now. I just have some swelling and a cut.
In general, I felt gross and tired and just-about-to-get-sick on Thursday, but I'm quite fine today. Better and better!
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