The Kindness Of Strangers

So, as you all may know, I am pretty constantly broke here. I was especially so this month thanks to a lot of traveling and as of last Thursday I had about eight euros to my name. That was eight euros for food, for incidental travel costs on my way to the airport, and for paying the rest of my rent. If I got to the airport and my bags were overweight, I would just have to throw things away. Eight euros.

A colleague of mine, Mrs. Paul, asked me if I wanted to come on a field trip with her class that coming Tuesday. They were going somewhere cool, some museum, but the cost per person was twenty euros. I felt so embarrassed when I had to tell her that I would love to, but that I didn't have the money for it. She said, "Well, what about ten euros? I could pay the other ten." I had to tell her that I didn't even have ten euros. I was incredibly embarrassed and kind of ashamed, standing there in the teacher's lounge and saying, "Nope, sorry. I have no money." I hate saying this because then people say, "Well, I'll loan it to you." But if I'm already this broke, I don't want to spend money that I haven't even made yet (which is what a loan is, essentially) on fun stuff. My thought is, if I can't afford to feed myself, I certainly can't afford to go on a field trip.

People also sometimes say, "We'll I'll just give you the money." But then if I take the money, I feel like I shouldn't do anything frivolous with it. Again, if I couldn't have afforded to feed myself without the gift, I feel like I shouldn't go wild with the money once I get it.

This whole rambling thing boils down to: I had eight euros to my name, and I had to tell Mrs. Paul that I couldn't afford to go on the field trip.

So, the next Monday I'm in Herr Preller's class and he pulls me aside. He asks me, "Do you need money?" And my mouth is popping open and shut like a fish out of water because I want to tell him, "YES! Yes I need money bad!" but I also (see above rambling) feel like I shouldn't take a loan or even a gift unless I was absolutely completely beyond broke. I mean, hey, I did still have eight euros.

Anyway, Herr Preller was like, "Here. You take this and you can pay me back when you get back to the States ..." and he shoves a wad of twenties into my hand. Twenties! Herr Preller gave me one hundred euros and said I could pay him back later!!! I was overjoyed but not speechless; in fact, my mouth was a motor running off "thank you thank you thank you I'll pay you right back thank you thank you thank you" at a mile a minute.

So, I paid the last of my rent, bought groceries, and I even have a twenty left over for incidentals on my way back to America. Thank you, thank you Herr Preller!

Corny Lesson Alert: Corny Life Lesson Ahead!

You know what? People keep asking me what I've learned or what I've gained during my time here. I often come up with very lame, cliched answers. But really? I've learned how to accept help from people.

I'm independent to a fault. I don't like not being able to do things for myself. I don't like having to ask other people and impress upon their kindness. That doesn't mean I mind the other way around; in fact, I love helping people and being able to do things for them. I'm just the kind of person who is much better at giving gifts than receiving them.

But my going away to Germany has meant, often times, that I must rely on other people. I literally could not have done this without you guys - Dad, Rachael, Mom, Marvin, Pete, Herr Preller, Biggi, Maya, Nadine, everyone who sent me a card or a e-mail or even just wrote on my wall, just ... just everyone! Without help, I would not have found a place to live here. I would have had no furniture, no bicycle, no jacket in winter. I would have gone hungry and not been able to pay my bills back home and I probably would have had to leave early because of that. My PDA would not have worked, I would have had a terrible Christmas, and most of all I would have been very, very lonely. So, I hated asking for help, but I finally came to a situation in my life where I had to ask for it. And I found that it's not wrong to need help. I don't like it, but I don't actively avoid it as much as I did before. So, uhm, thanks people. I love you guys. And I'll see you in a couple of days.

PS: I did go on a school field trip, btw. I went with an 8th grade class on a canoe tour of the Oker River, which runs through Braunschweig. You can see photos of it HERE.